Monday, November 9, 2009

What are you thankful for?

Today was Sydney's 6th month checkup with her neurologist in Atlanta. It has been exactly 6 months since her last seizure, and she is doing great. Her motor development is where it should be, and her language, though a tad behind, is improving every day (even the speech therapist wasn't concerned when she saw her last month). Sydney is thriving and there is nothing more I could ask for! So why did I leave the center sobbing this afternoon?

Answer: The Emory Childrens Center that I take Sydney to is right outside the Children's Hospital in Emory. I park in the same place that I did when Syd was in the hospital 10 months ago. I go through the same elevator and and walk through those same double doors every time I take her to her Neurology appt. It is a constant reminder of the fear, and heartbreak that I, Cameron and Syd faced just a short time ago. It is always very sobering to make this trip, but it is a great reminder of how blessed we are that Sydney is doing better, and that there IS a medicine that will work long term if this epilepsy does in fact last throughout her life. So, I left the office after a great visit, and as we walked out the door Dylan started jumping up and down yelling, "Helicopter, helicopter, mommy!". I looked up and leaving the roof of the hospital of course was a helicopter with the words, Childrens Healthcare of Atlanta written on it. I instantly began to cry. Call it hormonal pregnancy emotions, but I couldn't help but think of the sick or injured child that was being transported, and/or the parents who were living their worst nightmare having to witness the pain of their child. I couldn't help but see 8 month old Sydney strapped to a gurney in that ambulance, and remember the feelings that I had had driving with her and just watching, praying that the seizures would stop and there wouldn't be any brain damage. At that same moment, I began crying even harder, sobbing (a little uncontrollably) because I was so grateful that we weren't there, in that moment, or situation anymore. We have answers, and our baby girl is thriving! And at that moment I couldn't hold the tears in, I was so overwhelmed with emotions of happiness!

To make things worse for a hormonal crying pregnant woman, I get in the car after calming down and riding yet again that same elevator (this time with two sick kids in wheelchairs) and as I leave the parking lot, the song "Thankful" by Josh Groban comes on (yes it is on his Christmas album, and yes I am already listening to it :) Here are a taste of the lyrics:

Somedays, we forget to look around us,
Somedays, we can't see the joy that surrounds us,
so caught up inside ourselves...
there's so much to be Thankful for,

It's an AMAZING song and of course moved me once again, bringing me to tears. It was at this point that Dylan said, "Mommy, when are you going to stop crying?" Poor kid, his mom is crazy!

It was a good day. I love being reminded of how blessed I am, and how happy I am. I tend to forget that...often.

Here is just a cute video of Sydney playing with her blocks. If you listen close you hear her say, "here you go" a few times. It is her first official sentence!


Jacki said...

Wow Brit, powerful post! You are such a great mom!!

Katie said...

awww Brit. I am so glad that Sydney is continuing to do well. And don't worry about getting so mkaes me feel like I might be normal since I'm the same way!!

Cameron said...

I don't like getting teary at stop it.

Britney said...

ohhh, cute! You know how I felt though, so I assume you were feeling the exact same way while reading it! Isn't it crazy that that was just ten months ago? Whew, so glad we are past that! (Knock on wood)

T-Ray said...

Glad things are going well. I love reading up on your blog and seeing how your cute family is doing and seeing pictures of your adorable children. Thank you for the sweet note on my blog. It made my day. I am still holding out for Brent, but trying to move on at the same time. He is dealing with some major anxiety about getting married... but I still love him so much. You are the best, thanks for reading my blog.

coco said...

What a sweet post. You are blessed. Syd is too cute!

heidimount said...

You are doing a great job! I agree, that those are great reminders of all that is right for you (and me!). Thanks for that sweet posting, Sydney is sure a doll and we are so happy that she is doing so well!!!