Life

I have spent the last five or so months talking about Sydney and this entire weaning process. I go up and down between emotions because some days are great and others, are just awful. I feel like a crazy person. Really. So, I am here to tell you, it has not gotten a whole lot better. I thought the meds were completely out of Sydney's system, but I am finding out the hard way that this is not so. It could take months, years, for these meds to get out of her system and it could take just as long to get her habits back to where they need to be. She was 8 months old when all of this started and she learned some not so great habits during those two years. It's a tough mountain to climb but we will get there!

Anyway, I am not going to complain. Not going to mope. I am just going to say for any of you out there that have been through this, I am so sorry. For any of you going through this, I am so sorry. For any of you who have felt entirely alone and incapable during this trial in your life, I am here and I understand. You are not alone.

I woke up this morning to find out that an old friend took his life last night. I put aside all of the hopeless feelings that I have been feeling and thought about him for a while. I thought about his worth, and how he had touched so many people throughout his life. What a tragedy it is that he lost all hope. In everyone. In himself. How terrible that he couldn't see a reason worth living. I have had these thoughts many times throughout these last few months. Not suicidal thoughts, but just thoughts of frustration, hopelessness, and feelings of loneliness. Complete emptiness can be so overwhelming sometimes. I immediately remembered this song that I used in a Sunday School lesson years ago called, You are Loved. It is written and sung by Josh Groban. I forgot about this song until just today. But, when I played it, I was filled with tears and hope once again. There is someone out there who understands our trials and is with us every step of the way. I like to think of the love that my Savior has for me when I listen to this song, but for many of you non-believers, this can be anyone. You are loved, by many, and you are not alone.

http://cms.clevver.com/music/video/15354/josh-groban-you-are-loved.html

"You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)"

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy
I...I will lift it for you

Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I...I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside
I...I will be there to find you

Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I...I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

You are loved
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
Don't give up
Every one needs to be heard
You are loved